[rambling thoughts]

wuhuu

piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt!

it aint over till its over

just when i thought i hv conquered the worst part in my entire academic journey, another trouble storms in. also, waiting for the result and the announcement have put me into greater fear. will i pass this? even if i did, was it even worth to compare with every effort i've made? dont get too excited over anything u achieved, things are sometimes too good to be true. thats why till this blog entry is wposted, i HAVE NEVER given a full trust to anyone. my life, the pain i feel, the burden i bear, the joy n the fear, are all mine n im not planning to share em. not that i dont respect other ppl's existency, or u'd probably think that im sort of a wannalookdarknmysterious freek, hell w that. think of me as u wish. it doesnt prove anything.

ouch.

begini...pitbull saya, si betty, kakinya dislocated gt..sy jd kepikiran..

bu dade,bu yayu,

ya udah deh..yuuukk...

Pünktchen:DIEHAPPY

i shrunk myself...
adventure in a big red sofa,
has begun

the land of velvet
defeats your wildest dream
it's beyond everything
it's orgasmic

oh no i see no lite
it's gettin dark
it's apocalypse!
shaped like a pear
oh my dear!
it's ur rear....
end....
rear end
your end
my end.
©2006

the enlightment

I know I haven't got to the advance level in tarot-ing but since a few dayz ago i was a little desperate of what the future holds for me and what i really felt that moment, i decided to google and found an express solution to my trouble. Bull's eye! A Tarot website! Here are what they've said: Ooh yeah, i forgot. I'm gonna explain how it worked. First they told u to concentrate and typed on the box ur present fear, hopes, question, anything that has been bugging u. then, click 3 times on the row of faced-down cards, at 3 different places. and these are all the result... King of Cups in the "SELF" Position : The King brings order to the realm. Others feel safe and calm in his presence. The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. The King of Cups symbolizes the bestowing of blessings that serve like a refuge for your heart -- a lap of stability and support. A powerful, quiet presence brings a reassuring sense of order and peace to the situation. The King energy makes it easier to feel optimistic, to have faith in reliable support and to express your feelings with confidence. The King of Cups is the archetype of the strong, kind, and loving father figure. This is a powerful energy that you can call up from within yourself and depend on. Three of Coins in the "SITUATION" Position : You are provided with circumstances that encourage both the brilliance and the necessary support that will enable you to manifest your vision. The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time. When the Three of Coins is in this position, you are in an environment that encourages you to blossom and to foster your talents in the material world, securing security and acknowledgment. This includes manifesting the support from other people you may need to realize your vision. Listen carefully to what the universe is communicating to you. It does not matter whether you are playing the leadership role or are in a supportive position this time around. This card indicates that when your turn comes, the tools and sustenance you need to attain success will be there. Page of Coins in the "CHALLENGES/OPPORTUNITIES" Position : Become a patient observer so you will know how to fit in when it becomes necessary. The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones. The Page of Coins (in some decks, a Princess) in this position asks you to become as transparent as possible within the current situation. Make yourself invisible so the patterns of powerful forces which are shaping events will reveal themselves to you. For the time being, resist the urge to do anything other than observe and take notes. Be open and awake and listen to your body -- it is telling you something interesting is going on. Some kind of transformation is in the works. When it comes to a close you will be able to help those who remain to regroup and regain their place in the new order of things. The skill that makes it possible for you to mutate through such changes and come through intact will be something you can teach others in due time. Haa! Eat that, biaatch*! *biaatch refers to the dark-paranoid-side of me. If anyone has ever considered herself as a biaatch or called as one, have no offense, since ur not the one i'm subjecting into. Pleez deh, GR tuh udah ga jaman kalee, Hon.